From my teenage years I have not been happy with myself, and that belief has been born through the negativity of others.  In my life I have been “too fat”, “too thin”, “you’re a big girl”.  My head has been filled with views of others and I’ve never been able to really look at myself as from what I had heard from people around me, why would I want to look at myself? Why would I want to stand my full 5ft 10inches, Why would I want to like myself? 

All of this meant I put on a comedic persona, always laughing, always smiling, to try and deflect any negativity I received, however on the inside I have battled with a life of depression and anxiety, worrying about how I look, what people were saying, being tall and unable to hide into the background. 

At the end of 2022 I went through my worst period of depression, being in a very sad place for a few reasons but the underlying factor was that “I was not good enough”.  Whilst recovering from this I had already been following Kensa Boudoir on Facebook and it brought me joy to see how the Kensa experience had lifted ladies spirits and shown them the beauty that they had, and perhaps like me, didn’t see it. 

I kept promising myself that when I had lost weight, and when I looked better and felt better about myself, I would book in.  I knew that day was not going to come, and when looking back at old photos I wished I looked like I had back when I had been hating myself! I realised I was always living in the best version of me at any given time, we just don’t see it. 

When the cancellation slot came up, I decided let’s do it! I started to write a message, then my inner doubts took over again and I deleted it.  When the slot was still free a couple of days later, I thought – I have to do this. 

I was thrilled, delighted and mostly proud when I had completed the experience.  As soon as I saw the photos it was like a bolt to the chest, “Wow, look at me!”, “Is that me?!”, “I finally love me”.  

It doesn’t matter what people say about me now, as I have seen for myself the body I had previously been scared to look at, was beautiful. 

It was only a matter of about six months, and I was back for another booking.  This time more involved in what I wanted to get out of the session, and yet again loving what I saw on the screen when the images were shown to me. 

The bedroom now has images from my Kensa experience on the walls, so when I wake up, I am reminded of how awesome I am!  A great way to start the day! 

I now walk and stand proud, and I thank Kensa Boudoir for bringing that feeling to everyone that walks through your door.